How can I possibly repent, beg for mercy, ask for all that I want for myself, my family, friends, neighbours, people all over the world, weep for the sins I have committed, cry over the mistakes I have made, plead forgiveness for the promises I didn’t keep, supplicate and beseech Allah (swt) to grant me all that I desire? The emotions are high and the time is so very short.
Now, my tears fall here, repenting to Allah (swt) and asking for His mercy. I have left my entire palette of experiences to be present under the open sky, where the Prophet (sa) once stood, once prayed, once slept and where his tears must have once fallen. I have left three kids behind solely to gain Allah’s (swt) pleasure. There is no other place on earth, where one willingly shares a bed with 250 people and a bathroom with 700 strangers in the space that was my bedroom back home! The rigors of these three days will almost certainly destroy the body however, strangely enough, the more tired and uncomfortable one gets, the more one’s soul is purified and strengthened. For the first time in my life, I am tongue tied. The Hajj experience cannot be described in words, and it must be experienced to be fully understood. I was off on the journey every Muslim dreams of making – to do all the things that billions of Muslims have performed solely for the sake of Allah (swt).
For the first time in my life I experienced unadulterated rapture. “Here I am, O Allah! Here I am!” echoed in my heart, my mind and soul all in unison.